MOOD'S WINGS:Unshed tears

Lay in bed,cant sleep
pictures 'racin' past me
in my head,'track-meet'
need an open heart surgery
no dagger's in an arm's reach
nor a weapon in my armoury
god i need a pharmacist
or my virgin shot of gin
never woulda thought of this
but tonight,i wanna smoke a cig
just anything,
to see some' burning
on the outside of me
but no vices-to keep me at bay
not suicidal-but keep me away,
from society,
I fuckin love my sobriety
cos 'darkness' provides me
the strength of defiance see,
it seems so-'bright'-to-me
man my soul-cries-to-me
ever so-quiet-ly
but i wont let it die-on-me
cos though nothin's in my control
i gotta be the one to console-
me,I aint gotta front yo
I'm fucked up n then some mo'
been chewin this poisonous gumball
for months now,
cant swallow
maybe,I was goin gung-ho
over some dumb-ho
Karma's a slut? NO
baby u deserve to be fallow
cant let you be the edge off
of which i fell off
Plus this aint a tell all
You damn well know,what went wrong
so repent yo,
its clear you should
like you always feared u would
tell you the truth,
these are my last unshed-tears for you

MOOD'S-WINGS 7

(This one flows on 'apologize remix ft weezy' beat)

This bout someone in my head
For someone that i care
Someone smilin in a nightmare
N i aint right there
But i can feel it in the air
N its gettin harder to inhale
Seein her goin through this hell
See all i wanna do is help
But i don wanna be a crutch
Oh please i can give my legs
For her to stand n face the world
Just listen to me girl
Love is bigger than a grudge
N i aint no one to judge
But man your life's fucked up
See your 'fudge's turned curd'
N that he's not your worth
But for months he was your world
N i aint delvin further
Cos i know that it hurts
but homegal turned colder
loner like a soldier
amidst friends,feelin cornered
a mere thought is torture
N no i wont be ‘the shoulder’
Cos i wanna show her
A way to be stronger than a boulder
Cant promise this cannot be over
But i keep on tryna mould her
To fit in this cold world
N this aint what art is
Aint ink,
Its somethin from my arteries
Just trust me
N the words that i say
Cos they dint come without me payin
I cant see another in pain
‘Smokey window panes’
Fell in love with the rain
Though it was just another day
n it made her insane
Her heart's in her brain
All dreams down the drain
Now it rains on her bedsheet
N it just eats me
Knowin she's not at ease
cos she's a part of me
n i cant let it depart from me........

MOOD'S WINGS 6:Don't know what this is :/

Okay last i checked
My life was picture perfect
But man somethin must have changed
I feel like i need somethin else
N no i cant tell u what it is
Cos shit's a drain to explain
I don know what is amiss
aint no source to this pain
in over my head in this
N you sure think i'm deep
when i only showed this iceberg's peak
N i shan't speak
Cos on the outset this all seems sweet
But the *STORY* eventually
'Crumbles down like titanic'
So why lay a foundation
Why 'build a bridge'
I'm already 'at your side'
Wont let you fall for this
Word to em love is evil
Need an exorcist
Look what it almost did
Transformed an apathetic
Into a pathetic
Or maybe somethin's wrong
with my analysis
Pray i'm just a 'dyslexic'
its all simple,not this complex shit
But then again i've never been a conformist
But 'takes two to confirm this'
So i cant really judge,you wantin this
This haunted bliss
dismissed signs as co coincidences
but they're far too many
n m not cookin up things
But another hit me
As i was jottin this
But gotsta get me-off of this
My soul needs ta breathe out of my skin
Wonder whether she cud help me
If she cud step in my kicks
N look at herself n see what i see
No skin,a heartbeat,,halo n wings
Not overstatin things
But it is...what it is
Just dont know what it is
Hopin this fog'll lift
n yeaahh a moment of clarity

*STOREY

MOOD'S-WINGS 5

I'm feelin so distant
my reflection is panoramic,
soul's missin'
angels tryna revive me
but i dont believe-em
rather don believe in em
almost hopin for a treason
to give me a reason
to sit assured-they really demons
signed a treaty with my inner demons
to haunt me only when a n*gga dreamin
but fuckers tricked me,n m forever sleepin
yeah those who know me stand testimony
cos i don know homie
i feel like that god damn CONSTANTINE
mean,i constantly
just see evil in a person next to me
subconsicously
i just don see PROS
only the CONS hit me
like friends be all exterior-phoney
with ulterior motives just connin' me
so before i fall for love
my heart's absconding me

MOOD'S-WINGS 4

Fourth year still tryna adjust
i find the more i try ta change
the more i wont budge
tryna find a foothold
but m kneedeep in this sludge
this world,im done tryna judge
people sweeter than fudge
some closer than blood,
relations,but soon as our back's turned
they show their *TRUE BLOOD
too immersed in this bloodthirst
usin knives carved from words
was a naive,heart of love
till my mind called your bluff
sometimes you need an arm to clutch
like feel that warmth of touch
not amorous,shit's far from lust
cos for what it's worth
you realize this world,
aint worth your while
cos people covered in facades
n you find your feelings,are one sided
somethin like love at first sight
cos you don really get to know em
your best of friends will 'do a shogun'
your 'partner' will do you like 'hogan'
hell yeah i'm frozen,
but cold world n wind's blowin
windbreaker's notepad,
n thermometer's my ball pen
cos it tells me that i'm HOT
n i turn to it when im sickened
not lyrically,
but from the shit that i witness
not carvin a niche,
this is my existence
cos a writer's thoughts
r really a glitch in the matrix
n his teardrops,is the ink in his pages
he's breathin rhymes,
his ears inhale n he exhales from his hands
he writes with n to his best friend-
his 'pen pal'
me i aint that complex,man
i keep it simple
keep shit in my head n
act like a thoughtless man
look at the world like a spotless scam
cos me,i am an exception
friendship is deception
caz on doin an assessment
i found their emotions
were MY OWN PERCEPTIONS
**fading out**
n shit was a turn off
like cold water on erections
fake laughs,
i feel like a voter at elections

**fades out**

*True blood~that HBO vampire series...here means...bloodsuckin backstabbers
**HULK HOGAN's wife cheated on him :)

MOOD'S-WINGS 3

We're all dying inside,on a daily day we compete
with this divine hell that life is
EFFORTLESSLY,defying what we are destined to be
fallin into pieces,
every other-brother's smokin up weed
as a chick loses her vir-gi-nity
sixth teenage preg-nancy
in this sick hour,im compelled to see
another kid on a bike,lost his life to speed
what was he runnin away from?
but we all have this one disease
peeps are wolves dresssed as sheep
we're STRESSED at-ease
and our 'minds we speak '
only when we're FAST ASLEEP
cos what's on my mind at F-B
is over my head n tran-scends me
that's why i plunge my headfones in,
like an I-V,n let the trance hit me
twenty years gone by,faster than seh-wag's 50
reminiscing,runnin my fingers,
over a bottle of RAT KILL
will somebody's hands-will,lift up this anvil?
on top of my head,the only thing i can-feel
tongue in cheek,but my eyes SCREAM,
what i try n conceal
break the seal like m 'un-wrapping gifts'
takin a look at my PRESENT
for a second,then i empty it
n before it hits,
i WAKE UP to a HARSHER REALITY

MOOD'S-WINGS 2

(This one's slightly old,please bear with me as i empty out my closet )


Sometimes i think,some's wrong with enkore
next moment im sailing in the same boat
its that emptiness that lingers,even when i gloat
cant fight this hollowness,i miss my own soul
not like i got it all
but i no longer crave for more
or maybe i've stopped wishing,though
on second thoughts,i never prayed 'for my own'
or 'on my own' for that matter
with hands folded at the altar
i reckoned how could i make life better
for my father
n although we've drifted farther
to the point that,we cant seem to stand each other
just hope someday we can understand each other
in contrast to how he's *drivin me* to *do a stan*
partly blame you for makin me as cold as i am,
not even ashamed to proclaim this
what you claim to be love is smothering me
how can i breathe freely,when yu're forever nagging me
feelin weak n strong at the same time-WHEN I DEFY,
not even on my *grind* but my insides would state otherwise
hope yu wisen up to the fact that i cant be made to follow
norms or to conform to yur principles
i make my own rules i would never follow examples
i cant be a *disciple*,i want to *master*,my own fate
no longer talkin back,so you think i'm under the influence
m not blinded by their affluence,dad i AM my own influence


PS wrote this in a flurry after being reprimanded (m cool with dad lol).Its just a lil something i had in my mind at THAT moment,gettin fizzled out of the vent. :D

MOOD'S-WINGS 1

I been studying for an hour,
but it feels like a week
they say knowledge empowers,
then why do i feel so weak
m not tryin to compete,
that part died in me
umm maybe,comes out
when i am asleep
distant venomous shrieks
my knickname's *'lil nicky' (HAAA)
though not here to 'raise hell'
my mom n dad tell,
me,i was raised well,
n i was their angel,
until i went n failed them
now my residence is a jail cell
with fans that rain flames
as i take naps on a nail bed
they wanted me to fare well
n i went n bid farewell
to their dreams,dammn near well
act indifferent but them tears tell
man i hate the system
teacher's pet gets the throne
while the brightest gets a CHAIR
'cushioned with thorns'
missin a 'pair a legs'
adjust yur VISION,
yall sufferin from 'parallax'
ask me,success is a dude,with cardiac arrest
that never rests n MOUNTS EVEREST
with an OUNCE OF BREATH
IT DOESNT EXIST
some other dude in my shoes,
woulda guzzled a fifth
not me,i tussle with this,
with 'muscles of ink'
i mean INK ARMS,that fit in these fists
fittin *DEFEAT* of opposin peeps *THE FEET*
n thats how u 'get KICKS' from my punches


*lil nicky(that adam sandler flick)-was sent to earth to save/raise hell n his snores were shriek inducing (lol)